I had a nice long convo about this. You know you have a strong family bond when you can talk to your parents about who you ended up in bed with. The thing is I know what is possible, and I'm going to hold out for that now, or die working towards getting it. Mark my word.
The funny thing is I'm not really mad or bitter about anything now. I was for about half a day, but then my friend says "Does it really matter? It's not worth thinking about, that's why you end things."
Tomorrow is a new day and that and the ones following I probably whon't share publicly for a while. Time to pick myself up and dust myself off and try running leaps again. It's like video games, it's got to get easier with each repeated play.