So I can't sleep. I ended up talking to Shawn. I love shawn, he's probably in the top ten decent people I know. I think the boy can cheer up the most depressed person in the world. It's an interesting thing when you look at life as basically ok here's what I have now what can I do with it. I think this is my golden chance to explore again and see what I want to be when I grow up. As soon as I can function again without feeling the urge to bash my head in with a baseball bat or pass out, it's time to take some action.
I was skimming a Bach book I love and ran across this and for some reason it touched me.
“It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost...”
I'm not lost. I don't think I ever was, I'm just drifting on the open sea at dusk waiting for the stars.