My heart doesn't hurt anymore. On another note, I was reading and started thinking about what I was reading. Home really isn't a place. I've always deluded myself thinking X number of months until I go home. Home is completely portable. This apartment I'm in feels like home now. It's kind of like an invisable rain coat that regardless of what happens you are set. Home for me has always been Sierra Vista, but also it's been the moment before I jump into the pool to swim laps, the middle of a sonata where I forget I'm pushing keys and moving fingers...It was when I was sparring and not thinkging about how to score points, but the playful banter in Tae kwon do pants, a sports bra and sparring gear...in the park late at night where Erin and I would practice and we met Shawn and Buck. Right now it's in swing dancing and jazz...some guy commented about how my face lit up when I'd stop counting to 4 and dance. Basically I agree, that home is where you can be you...no masks, smoke, or self fed delusions. Plus I'm in the right place at the right time. As fucked up as that sounds it's true. Like the quote goes "...Know that ever about you stands the reality of love, and each moment you have the power to transform your world by whaht you have learned."
THis is actually the quote I wanted to leave
"In God I love, In Love I believe, I believe in you, I must carry on."