Why can't we fucking control our emotions. Right now I'm so close to losing it and passing out. This isn't a poor me feel sory for me entry either, because I don't need fucking pitty. I do however feel more homesick then I ever have my entrie life. If I were home there'd be someone to be with and tell me it'd be allright and eat icecream with with everything. This isn't an option. I miss Gallo, and Mark, and Jessie, and Jen, and Abby, and Shawn, and Matt, and Kelly, and everyone else who have as much ambition as me and are going places. If I didn't have something going I would so get up and go home. The only reason I'm here is because I didn't wnat to burn bridges and it beat the alternative. I like my job, and I like Omaha. Right now the only thing I want is to be held while I cry right now. I play hard ball that's the only way I know how to play the game. I guess I'm pretty fucked up as a person because I play hard ball things in my life are pretty much black and white when you boil it down. The other thing is my father failed and taught me well on depending on no one. So I guess I'm asking for help, and I guess I find out who MY TRUE friends are cause I think I'm stuck.