So I've really done some thinking about why this is a problem. I know where the broken parts are I think now I'm almost in a position where I can fix them. I had a friend who said I was scared, hurt and lonely. I'm not really any of those totally. I think I'm just realizing I don't have to settle for what I have. I mean I am glad for what I have but is it what I want? I think the problem is I don't know what I want, and so I don't see any point in fixing what I have. I think this is a learned behavior it's dumb and it's time to stop it. The thing is I know what's broken it's a matter of making the right jump to fix it.
So the plan for the rest of this week till AZ is this. Fridy fly home, and sleep,
Organize work space and make week's todo list
Plan scripts to get dumbass off my back
Wrap presents for hometown holidays
Work on scripts
Do fitness eval
work late to make up for tuesday
Get thing cut out of my body
I can't think further ahead then this except to thow clothes bag pack up misc personal stuff and go to bed.