catch22 (catch22) wrote,

As she packed up the last copy paper box full of misc. papers, pens, computer parts, the thought of going home made her shudder. So many bad memories so many hurtful times why return to that? The trailer was loaded; there was no turning back now.

All that was left was the tearful goodbye to her boyfriend. In three short months she had never been so close to another human being. One turn to the road fate had picked for her could rip him from her. That wasn't the only consequence of a misstep. Every inch between Hell and herself she's fought for, scratching, kicking, and biting could be lost and she could slip back down into the abyss. In an instant the fragile existence she was rebuilding could be wiped clean away.

What drove her so? Why take the chance again? How many times does it take in getting burned before one learns not to play with fire? Learning to live, to trust, that was the point. So many years had gone by she was forgetting how to do this. Crystals are formed when molecules bond to a seed. Truth. Not necessarily her truth but a truth. It's time to find her truth. Conveniently timed is summer vacation and a trip back a comfort zone. Solitude is what she needed. Back to a warm dry place. The desert, her birth place. Back to a mother that's giving to a child who learns to live within the constraints.

But these aren't the rules being played by in her mind. Now is a time fore rest and understanding. To sort through the acquired stash undisturbed, uninfluenced. As uninfluenced as possible. Love is the wrinkle in time, the bridge across forever. Love kept her looking back in the recent past and looking forward to the future. But if care is ignored, she could fall into the present. Trilateral equilibrium. Screw up one, and watch the world fall apart.
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