It's like we get a death grip on what we think reality is when in all actuality it's like trying to get a death grip on water. It's constantly changing and you can either fight it, learn to use it as a tool or accept it. It's like swimming. Take someone who doesn't know how to swim and toss them in a pool and they'll fight and get tired. Then they'll accept it and sink to the bottom or stand up or something that's not really panicing but that really doesn't get you anywhere. If they learn how to use it as a tool they can move around in the environment. I had a convo with a guy at Kickboxing about hydroplaning while swimming. It's learning to be efficient in every environment.
This transition period seems like it's almost over. I never realized how hard it is to be on your own. It's currently a time of self discovery. It always gets fucked up though by outside forces pushing in. I'm wondering if this time it will go to completion.
I really can't finish this right now. I tried talking to a friend about this current state, and they wanted to know if I was on drugs. Maybe this is why I never even wanted to do drugs...I can let myself go and let whatever has taken over take over.